I too was bullied in high school, but nothing like that. I loved football and started in 7th and 8th grade, but going to a new high school with kids I didn’t know changed everything. I grew much taller, but gained no weight. As a skinny kid, the other guys in the team picked on me ruthlessly. The coaches just laughed when they saw it. Fortunately I grew even taller and gained weight by 11th and 12th grade. Those assholes guys never messed with me again. I don’t blame the kids, but I do blame the coaches. They were adults and never should have allowed the bullying.
I heard so many stories like that while researching "Bullyocracy," PD. Yours turned out better than most. Coaches are even more likely to have bully personalities than teachers. Thanks.
Beyond tragic, this woman survived and so amazing that she was able to not let this time completely destroy her. This is an indictment of that cess pool school district and all who harmed or would not stand for one of the "don't matter" kids. Cruelty whether acquired or curated should never be at a minimum condoned in any institution dealing with children.As a fat kid I never understood adults who poked fun or thought I should laugh or just take it from them. Thank God for strong loving parents and for grace to rise from the harm. Apologies if it offends, but in my miind a hero is someone who makes the tough choice to live a life without seeking to harm and not be swallowed up by such a culture. She is a hero. That takes guts especially in this toxic time we live in.
I was a fat kid, too, spnbb. Back when it wasn't the norm for children, as it seems to be now. She is a hero, and went on to have a productive life. Thanks.
Yes, it's too bad this didn't make it into your book (which I have). Kids themselves may be excused somewhat because of their age (most grow up to feel shame at having bullied other kids). The biggest blame belongs to the school system.
The parents as well. If I had done this, my parents would have spanked me, then grounded. Its not just the schools, but how could they have tolerated this behavior?
In some cases, I'm not sure the parents even know, Fran. What my research showed is that the schools simply don't do anything about it, so the parents of the bullies are probably often not even contacted. Thanks.
That was the most unbelievable aspect of the story, Fran. Just imagine that someone with that kind of defective character could rise to the level of principal. Thanks.
What a most horrible thing for anyone to have to go thru! I was a literal tomboy in early gradeschool, and in First Grade, I used to beat up the boys. If I would have been her classmate, I would have gone DefCon 5 on these ignorant morons. How cruel! I hope this lady was able to adjust to a normal adult life. Thanks for sharing, Don.
I'm sure she would have loved to have you there protecting her, Fran. She did go on to lead a remarkably normal life, as I mentioned at the end of the post. Thanks!
I have never gone to any of my high school reunions. I'd be so afraid of what I would tell them. Did run into one cheer leader, who looked nothing like she looked in HS. She told me she wished she hadn't been so mean. A little late, honey. Bad attitudes come from the parents.
As I showed in the book, most bullies just don't think what they did was a big deal. Even when confronted with the fact that their victims were still scarred, decades later. Thanks, Fran.
I too, was bullied when in school. I was an easy target. I was not interested in the social pecking order or being esteemed by the other classmates. I was interested in learning. Imagine that.
Nor did I have any interest in competitive sports. When I saw how the infielders in Little League used to taunt the batters- and the parents are saying "It's all part of the game"... well, no thanks. For every hero, you probably had ten goats who struck out when the bases were loaded etc. And the goats were guaranteed they were going to be in the proverbial doghouse the rest of the week. Even parents got disappointed and resentful.
The worst year of my bullying was in the fourth grade. All the classmates called me a "SPED" which was an acronym for "Special Education" for the retarded or dumb. I was totally unable to play the flutophone, and the teachers decided I had no musical aptitude... so was told the boy who 30 years later would solo the Gregorian Chants for his father's Requiem Mass, and astound the entire congregation.
Meanwhile the worst part was that my parents actually believed the parents of the bullies, and I was often blamed for being a retrovert, and that I needed psychiatric help. No, what my parents did not understand is what Kris said in her comment, that schools are horrific environments for younger children- especially large classrooms.
There are a lot of sadistic people out there, looking for victims. It is bad enough when the victim is a hapless kitten or puppy- but children can do the meanest things to each other.
It just goes to show there really is such a thing as demons and the diabolical, and that one does need prayer...
Sorry to hear that WW, but you are in the company of millions. Read the book. The stories, and the way the schools, workplaces, media, and anti-bullying "experts" sided with the bullies EVERY time will astound you. It is the only book I know of that speaks for the bullied, and doesn't make excuses for the bullies. Thanks.
I will have to get the book. At any rate, ultimately, those experiences were a blessing. It allows me to commiserate with the downtrodden. It also allowed me to spot the bullies.
At the Steakhouse, whenever I saw bullying, I stopped it. I never played politics, and I never allowed anybody to bully me in the workplace.
I have seen a lot of pure assholes over the years- people who are downright malicious. Their's is going to be a very bad end sooner later. As Qui Gon observed- there is always a bigger fish...
The worst kind of bullying is when bullies use plausible deniability to get away with it. My personal example - I have a lovely long Slavic last name, and when I changed schools in Australia, kids with monosyllabic last names would intentionally mispronounce it and laugh at me. When I went to the teachers, they sided with the bullies, saying, "Oh, your last name is just hard to say, they're not being racist."
Looking on the bright side, this experience led me to become best friends with a Lebanese boy who was going through the same thing. Through that friendship, I was introduced to Lebanese culture and the Arabic language, which I still love to this day.
Thanks Don for giving me the opportunity to share this for the first time.
Names have always been a magnet for bullies, Odysseus. I went to school with the Dick sisters. Imagine carrying that last name. But they handled it really well. I was hoping others would share their experiences, like you. Thanks!
Horrific stuff...but I don't understand why her mother and grandmother tolerated this. She should have been pulled out of school as soon as the bulling started. Yes, there was home schooling back then. In particular I remember that the Calvert School was used by families in remote locals. This family was WAY too trusting of the system. After all those years, they ACTUALLY EXPECTED things were going to change suddenly at graduation? Public school should NEVER have been a thing. Nothing I ever learned in school has helped me in any way...I had to unlearn everything to find the truth. As soon as it was legal to do so, I dropped out...one of the best decisions I ever made. My schools were full of bullies...and many of them were teachers.
I remember an incident when I was eight-years-old. I visited a little girl I thought was my friend. She lured me into her barn to show me her pony ...then locked all the doors and proceeded to whip me with a horse whip (the training kind, a stick with a whip on the end). I cried and begged her to stop. When she stopped, she would not unlock the door until my face was normal and I promised not to tell anyone. I told my family when I got home. They were dismissive, and teased me about it for years. Once the scamdemic started we saw how many people with a tiny bit of power, went full-on tyrant. At that point I had pretty much dropped out of the system already, put any remaining good will I had towards the public was gone. When I saw how it was the Normies following orders that was letting this clown show continue, I decide on no more contact with Normies.
I see what you're saying about her family, Kris. I didn't want to question her too much, because she went through absolute hell. That's a horrific incident you experienced as well. Sounds like the bad seed. Eight years old and using a real whip on another kid, and then calculating like that afterwards? I think your family's reaction, and perhaps the reaction of this poor woman's family, was probably typical back then. This woman is probably at least 5-6 years older than me, so graduated from high school in maybe the late '60s. Few parents would have questioned the teacher, the principal, or the school in general back then. Thanks.
Yes, although it was a cleaner, more orderly time...the trust level in institutions was very high. I know from experience that living in a high-trust society is much more pleasant...but hell for anyone being victimized. I was victimized all through school (mostly teachers) and my family always sided with the school. I had no one on my side...but I consider it a gift. It forces one to learn at an early age to fight back...anyway it did in my case. As an adult I would never accept being bullied. Come to think of it, that little girl was a lot like the little girl in: The Bad Seed.
Sometimes you have to fight the fear and fight back. I finally did that to a pushy big tall girl who bullied me. One day I slapped her hard across the face and she stopped. I told my sweet daughter to do that to a boy that taunted her and she finally did it. I know some bullies are relentless but one must learn to take care of themselves, whatever the consequences. You only have self in this life in the big picture. Now the polio girl was another story. I am surprised the mother and grandmother allowed this to continue without getting police involved.
Sometimes the only way to stop a bully is to physically fight back, Vicki. However, as I document in the book, far too many times the victims who finally fought back were the ones "caught" and punished. Thanks.
I am somewhat perplexed by the incident you describe. This girl, I am assuming, was bigger and stronger than you were. Also, how could she lock all the doors so you could not get out? Did she have you in a stall, and was whipping you from the outside?
She was bigger, and stronger than me, and very aggressive and masculine for a little girl. She had red hair, and was very loud. I was in a box stall, cowering in a corner. That was the last time I went to her home. Her parents never found out.
A year ago I chanced on the obituary of her mother. She was sweet and mild, a devout Christian, who actually lived her faith. Her father was a mortician. In the late seventies he abruptly quit and they moved to eastern Oregon to start a cattle ranch. I ran into the couple in a store in the early 2000's, and then the father died a few years later. They lived on my road before they moved, and the mother must have moved back after the father died, because she was living on my road again when she died. As of a year ago, their three kids were still alive... but maybe not for long. I'm betting they all got the Jonestown jab. I am constantly seeing the obits of people I used to know.
Thanks for the clarifications. I do remember an incident, very vaguely, when I was just barely past being a toddler, when the neighbor's kids, who were eleven and twelve, up the street "kidnapped" me and my brothers and would not let us out of their house for an hour. My mother wondered where we were and when she found out, had a confrontation with the neighbor, who in turned punished her children severely and forced them to apologize to us. They never misbehaved again.
Yes, at younger ages maturity and strength vary greatly, even with children in the same class.
And yes, Grade Schools are the worst institutions on earth. The classroom is for scholars, not children.
Oh my God, this poor soul. How horrific. I had a bad childhood but her bullying was off the charts. There seems to be a common thread in society, where to stand up against the monstrous crowd is almost unheard of now. Reminds me of something recently regarding masks and vaccines.
Anyway, I remember rescuing a little British girl named Melanie who was picked on worse than I was in elementary school. She was so quiet and sweet and loved horses, and the creatures at our school were terrible to her. And me. But Melanie got it worse. Thankfully her parents moved to some place that I hope was better and I spent the rest of my public school years without her.
The cliques that are created in school manifest in adulthood. That's why those creatures that humiliated that woman at her graduation saw nothing wrong in it. I would have walked out. Everyone gives lip service, but no one stops or changes their life. Except for those of us who were the victims and now choose to stay away from most people. All the time. We're still mocked and gossiped about, of course, because the only "differences" allowed and protected today are sexual. Otherwise, you're among the hunted. Since the demonic rules this world, the Lord of the Flies will continue and only get worse. Yet we must find and protect our Melanies when we can. Thank you, Donald.
You would find "Bullyocracy" very interesting, Cindy. While this woman's story is hard to top, there are countless others in the book that expose schools (and workplaces) for what they are. Society is basically run by bullies. It's natural that they protect them at all levels. Thanks.
Please pass the word about my book, Joseph. There are literally millions of people either dealing with bullying now, or left with the scars from bullying that happened years or decades earlier. None of the anti-bullying groups were interested in promoting "Bullyocracy," when it should have been the book they'd been waiting for. But then, as the book shows, the anti- bullying groups apparently serve to actually defend the bullies. No one with any influence truly sticks up for the bullied. Thanks.
Just from what you've told me, Cindy, I can't imagine there being too many out there who could relate more to it. It was painful to write, but it's a book that I think can be cathartic for those scarred by childhood bullying. Thanks!
I too was bullied in high school, but nothing like that. I loved football and started in 7th and 8th grade, but going to a new high school with kids I didn’t know changed everything. I grew much taller, but gained no weight. As a skinny kid, the other guys in the team picked on me ruthlessly. The coaches just laughed when they saw it. Fortunately I grew even taller and gained weight by 11th and 12th grade. Those assholes guys never messed with me again. I don’t blame the kids, but I do blame the coaches. They were adults and never should have allowed the bullying.
I heard so many stories like that while researching "Bullyocracy," PD. Yours turned out better than most. Coaches are even more likely to have bully personalities than teachers. Thanks.
Beyond tragic, this woman survived and so amazing that she was able to not let this time completely destroy her. This is an indictment of that cess pool school district and all who harmed or would not stand for one of the "don't matter" kids. Cruelty whether acquired or curated should never be at a minimum condoned in any institution dealing with children.As a fat kid I never understood adults who poked fun or thought I should laugh or just take it from them. Thank God for strong loving parents and for grace to rise from the harm. Apologies if it offends, but in my miind a hero is someone who makes the tough choice to live a life without seeking to harm and not be swallowed up by such a culture. She is a hero. That takes guts especially in this toxic time we live in.
I was a fat kid, too, spnbb. Back when it wasn't the norm for children, as it seems to be now. She is a hero, and went on to have a productive life. Thanks.
Yes, it's too bad this didn't make it into your book (which I have). Kids themselves may be excused somewhat because of their age (most grow up to feel shame at having bullied other kids). The biggest blame belongs to the school system.
It certainly would have, Rightful, but I didn't know about her story until after the book was at the printer. Thanks.
The parents as well. If I had done this, my parents would have spanked me, then grounded. Its not just the schools, but how could they have tolerated this behavior?
In some cases, I'm not sure the parents even know, Fran. What my research showed is that the schools simply don't do anything about it, so the parents of the bullies are probably often not even contacted. Thanks.
Very crude principal. If one has any morals or values, you just don't treat people like that. My father would been in the faces of the school board.
That was the most unbelievable aspect of the story, Fran. Just imagine that someone with that kind of defective character could rise to the level of principal. Thanks.
What a most horrible thing for anyone to have to go thru! I was a literal tomboy in early gradeschool, and in First Grade, I used to beat up the boys. If I would have been her classmate, I would have gone DefCon 5 on these ignorant morons. How cruel! I hope this lady was able to adjust to a normal adult life. Thanks for sharing, Don.
I'm sure she would have loved to have you there protecting her, Fran. She did go on to lead a remarkably normal life, as I mentioned at the end of the post. Thanks!
I have never gone to any of my high school reunions. I'd be so afraid of what I would tell them. Did run into one cheer leader, who looked nothing like she looked in HS. She told me she wished she hadn't been so mean. A little late, honey. Bad attitudes come from the parents.
As I showed in the book, most bullies just don't think what they did was a big deal. Even when confronted with the fact that their victims were still scarred, decades later. Thanks, Fran.
I too, was bullied when in school. I was an easy target. I was not interested in the social pecking order or being esteemed by the other classmates. I was interested in learning. Imagine that.
Nor did I have any interest in competitive sports. When I saw how the infielders in Little League used to taunt the batters- and the parents are saying "It's all part of the game"... well, no thanks. For every hero, you probably had ten goats who struck out when the bases were loaded etc. And the goats were guaranteed they were going to be in the proverbial doghouse the rest of the week. Even parents got disappointed and resentful.
The worst year of my bullying was in the fourth grade. All the classmates called me a "SPED" which was an acronym for "Special Education" for the retarded or dumb. I was totally unable to play the flutophone, and the teachers decided I had no musical aptitude... so was told the boy who 30 years later would solo the Gregorian Chants for his father's Requiem Mass, and astound the entire congregation.
Meanwhile the worst part was that my parents actually believed the parents of the bullies, and I was often blamed for being a retrovert, and that I needed psychiatric help. No, what my parents did not understand is what Kris said in her comment, that schools are horrific environments for younger children- especially large classrooms.
There are a lot of sadistic people out there, looking for victims. It is bad enough when the victim is a hapless kitten or puppy- but children can do the meanest things to each other.
It just goes to show there really is such a thing as demons and the diabolical, and that one does need prayer...
Sorry to hear that WW, but you are in the company of millions. Read the book. The stories, and the way the schools, workplaces, media, and anti-bullying "experts" sided with the bullies EVERY time will astound you. It is the only book I know of that speaks for the bullied, and doesn't make excuses for the bullies. Thanks.
I will have to get the book. At any rate, ultimately, those experiences were a blessing. It allows me to commiserate with the downtrodden. It also allowed me to spot the bullies.
At the Steakhouse, whenever I saw bullying, I stopped it. I never played politics, and I never allowed anybody to bully me in the workplace.
I have seen a lot of pure assholes over the years- people who are downright malicious. Their's is going to be a very bad end sooner later. As Qui Gon observed- there is always a bigger fish...
The worst kind of bullying is when bullies use plausible deniability to get away with it. My personal example - I have a lovely long Slavic last name, and when I changed schools in Australia, kids with monosyllabic last names would intentionally mispronounce it and laugh at me. When I went to the teachers, they sided with the bullies, saying, "Oh, your last name is just hard to say, they're not being racist."
Looking on the bright side, this experience led me to become best friends with a Lebanese boy who was going through the same thing. Through that friendship, I was introduced to Lebanese culture and the Arabic language, which I still love to this day.
Thanks Don for giving me the opportunity to share this for the first time.
Names have always been a magnet for bullies, Odysseus. I went to school with the Dick sisters. Imagine carrying that last name. But they handled it really well. I was hoping others would share their experiences, like you. Thanks!
Horrific stuff...but I don't understand why her mother and grandmother tolerated this. She should have been pulled out of school as soon as the bulling started. Yes, there was home schooling back then. In particular I remember that the Calvert School was used by families in remote locals. This family was WAY too trusting of the system. After all those years, they ACTUALLY EXPECTED things were going to change suddenly at graduation? Public school should NEVER have been a thing. Nothing I ever learned in school has helped me in any way...I had to unlearn everything to find the truth. As soon as it was legal to do so, I dropped out...one of the best decisions I ever made. My schools were full of bullies...and many of them were teachers.
I remember an incident when I was eight-years-old. I visited a little girl I thought was my friend. She lured me into her barn to show me her pony ...then locked all the doors and proceeded to whip me with a horse whip (the training kind, a stick with a whip on the end). I cried and begged her to stop. When she stopped, she would not unlock the door until my face was normal and I promised not to tell anyone. I told my family when I got home. They were dismissive, and teased me about it for years. Once the scamdemic started we saw how many people with a tiny bit of power, went full-on tyrant. At that point I had pretty much dropped out of the system already, put any remaining good will I had towards the public was gone. When I saw how it was the Normies following orders that was letting this clown show continue, I decide on no more contact with Normies.
I see what you're saying about her family, Kris. I didn't want to question her too much, because she went through absolute hell. That's a horrific incident you experienced as well. Sounds like the bad seed. Eight years old and using a real whip on another kid, and then calculating like that afterwards? I think your family's reaction, and perhaps the reaction of this poor woman's family, was probably typical back then. This woman is probably at least 5-6 years older than me, so graduated from high school in maybe the late '60s. Few parents would have questioned the teacher, the principal, or the school in general back then. Thanks.
Yes, although it was a cleaner, more orderly time...the trust level in institutions was very high. I know from experience that living in a high-trust society is much more pleasant...but hell for anyone being victimized. I was victimized all through school (mostly teachers) and my family always sided with the school. I had no one on my side...but I consider it a gift. It forces one to learn at an early age to fight back...anyway it did in my case. As an adult I would never accept being bullied. Come to think of it, that little girl was a lot like the little girl in: The Bad Seed.
Sometimes you have to fight the fear and fight back. I finally did that to a pushy big tall girl who bullied me. One day I slapped her hard across the face and she stopped. I told my sweet daughter to do that to a boy that taunted her and she finally did it. I know some bullies are relentless but one must learn to take care of themselves, whatever the consequences. You only have self in this life in the big picture. Now the polio girl was another story. I am surprised the mother and grandmother allowed this to continue without getting police involved.
Sometimes the only way to stop a bully is to physically fight back, Vicki. However, as I document in the book, far too many times the victims who finally fought back were the ones "caught" and punished. Thanks.
I am somewhat perplexed by the incident you describe. This girl, I am assuming, was bigger and stronger than you were. Also, how could she lock all the doors so you could not get out? Did she have you in a stall, and was whipping you from the outside?
She was bigger, and stronger than me, and very aggressive and masculine for a little girl. She had red hair, and was very loud. I was in a box stall, cowering in a corner. That was the last time I went to her home. Her parents never found out.
A year ago I chanced on the obituary of her mother. She was sweet and mild, a devout Christian, who actually lived her faith. Her father was a mortician. In the late seventies he abruptly quit and they moved to eastern Oregon to start a cattle ranch. I ran into the couple in a store in the early 2000's, and then the father died a few years later. They lived on my road before they moved, and the mother must have moved back after the father died, because she was living on my road again when she died. As of a year ago, their three kids were still alive... but maybe not for long. I'm betting they all got the Jonestown jab. I am constantly seeing the obits of people I used to know.
Thanks for the clarifications. I do remember an incident, very vaguely, when I was just barely past being a toddler, when the neighbor's kids, who were eleven and twelve, up the street "kidnapped" me and my brothers and would not let us out of their house for an hour. My mother wondered where we were and when she found out, had a confrontation with the neighbor, who in turned punished her children severely and forced them to apologize to us. They never misbehaved again.
Yes, at younger ages maturity and strength vary greatly, even with children in the same class.
And yes, Grade Schools are the worst institutions on earth. The classroom is for scholars, not children.
Oh my God, this poor soul. How horrific. I had a bad childhood but her bullying was off the charts. There seems to be a common thread in society, where to stand up against the monstrous crowd is almost unheard of now. Reminds me of something recently regarding masks and vaccines.
Anyway, I remember rescuing a little British girl named Melanie who was picked on worse than I was in elementary school. She was so quiet and sweet and loved horses, and the creatures at our school were terrible to her. And me. But Melanie got it worse. Thankfully her parents moved to some place that I hope was better and I spent the rest of my public school years without her.
The cliques that are created in school manifest in adulthood. That's why those creatures that humiliated that woman at her graduation saw nothing wrong in it. I would have walked out. Everyone gives lip service, but no one stops or changes their life. Except for those of us who were the victims and now choose to stay away from most people. All the time. We're still mocked and gossiped about, of course, because the only "differences" allowed and protected today are sexual. Otherwise, you're among the hunted. Since the demonic rules this world, the Lord of the Flies will continue and only get worse. Yet we must find and protect our Melanies when we can. Thank you, Donald.
You would find "Bullyocracy" very interesting, Cindy. While this woman's story is hard to top, there are countless others in the book that expose schools (and workplaces) for what they are. Society is basically run by bullies. It's natural that they protect them at all levels. Thanks.
Please pass the word about my book, Joseph. There are literally millions of people either dealing with bullying now, or left with the scars from bullying that happened years or decades earlier. None of the anti-bullying groups were interested in promoting "Bullyocracy," when it should have been the book they'd been waiting for. But then, as the book shows, the anti- bullying groups apparently serve to actually defend the bullies. No one with any influence truly sticks up for the bullied. Thanks.
I'm going to buy your book, Donald. I think it might help me understand my life better.
Just from what you've told me, Cindy, I can't imagine there being too many out there who could relate more to it. It was painful to write, but it's a book that I think can be cathartic for those scarred by childhood bullying. Thanks!